The benefit of the mediation process is that couples work together to create the correct decisions for their situation.
So many times I have worked with couples that have started out with the best intentions, believing they just want to “get this over with” and aspiring to be fair by splitting things down the middle. Unfortunately, as the stress mounts with the reality of their separation things often begin to “get nasty”.
It is easy to become angry and defiant when everything is being handled on your behalf. It is simple to tell your lawyer “…you tell my ex that…”
When someone else is speaking on your behalf it is easy for your intention or purpose to be lost and for your spouse to feel insulted or dictated to. When this happens hostilities can quickly rise and those initial goodwill feelings can rapidly deteriorate.
Individuals are often fixated on wanting something for emotional reasons and with third parties carrying your messages back and forth these emotional reasons can become forgotten and couples can find themselves battling over possessions or decisions for the wrong reasons. During the mediation process, discussions take place directly between you and your spouse. A mediator will help you explain why something is important to you so your spouse can understand.